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To the Omnivore: my apologies in advance

2009 April 5

My Dearest Omnivore,

When I walked into the house this past Friday evening and caught you shoveling leftover macaroni pasta, cold from the refrigerator, into your mouth, I do believe my heart skipped a beat.

I was overwhelmed with joy.  Remember that big grin I had on my face when our eyes met?  It wasn’t because I was happy to see you (although I certainly was), it was because of what I caught you spoiling your appetite for that night’s dinner with.  

Remember that crockpot that overfloweth with noodles that I took to work on Wednesday for our staff meeting potluck?   


 And remember how not quite all of the noodles fit into the mini-crock, so I reserved a portion in the refrigerator for later.  

And there it sat, all cheesy and yellow-y, just waiting for me to get a craving for mac and cheese, or alternatively, some unsuspecting omnivore with a ravenous appetite to dig in…


And you, the unsuspecting and ever-trusting housemate of mine, reached in and grabbed the unlabeled tupperware, picked up a fork, and dug right in…

There was no reason for you to suspect foul-play.  After all, I had transferred the tofu to a tupperware container immediately after returning from the grocery store.  And the garbage men had come recently; all the evidence was gone…

And you never asked me what was in the macaroni and cheese that I was taking to work, although I did admit that it was a “new” recipe.  

So now you know.  You ate tofu.  I apologize.  I would have told you, honest, if you had asked!  But you didn’t ask.  And admit it, the tofu mac and cheeze was yummy.  

No hard feelings?,
Your loving vegetarian wife who means you no harm

Mac Daddy (Veganomicon)

1/2 pound elbow macaroni (I used penne!)
1/2 pound extra firm tofu
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 T olive oil
1 T lemon juice
Boil pasta in a large pot of water. Preheat oven to 325*. Crumble tofu into an 8×8 inch baking dish until it resembles ricotta cheese. Add salt, olive oil, lemon juice, and stir.

I riced my tofu: imgp2053

Add 1/4 cup of the cheezy sauce (recipe below) to the tofu and stir. Add pasta to the tofu, reserve 1/2 cup of the cheezy sauce and add the rest to the tofu+macaroni mixture. Stir well. Top with remaining sauce. Bake for 30 minutes. Allow the baked macaroni and cheeze to rest outside of the oven before serving (about 10 minutes).


Cheezy Sauce
2 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup AP flour
1 T olive oil
3 cloves garlic
pinch dried thyme
1/4 tsp salt
freshly ground pepper
1/8 tsp turmeric
3/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes
1 T lemon juice
1 tsp prepared yellow mustard

Combine the broth and the flour, whisking to dissolve the flour. Preheat a small sauce pan over medium heat and gently saute the minced garlic for about 2 minutes. Add thyme, s&p, and cook a few seconds longer.

Add broth, turmeric, and nutritional yeast. Slightly increase heat and whisk constantly, about 3 minutes.

The mixture will begin to bubble and thicken. After about 2 minutes, add the mustard and lemon juice. Now the mixture should resemble melty cheese. If it does not, continue to simmer.