The Omnivore gave me whale-eyes

By admin on May 14th, 2009

Did you know I’m into dogs?  They’re kind of my thing. But not in that weird, gotta-have-that-notepad-with-the-puppy-on-it-kind-of-way, but in a more science-dork kind of way.

And for the record, I don’t really like puppies.  I mean, I do, but I don’t.  I’ll like your puppy, but I’ll pass on one of my own, TYVM.

And as a result to my thing with dogs, I’m kind of into dog behavior.  And there’s this thing in canine-behavior called whale eyes:

And tonight, as my dedicated Omnivore (you’ll see why he was dedicated in a moment) and I were enjoying a new recipe, he perfectly demonstrated the whale-eye. We’re talking 10/10 with a start value of 10.0 from the gymnastics judges in the Olympics type of Whale eye.  And admit it, you know those judges are hard.

And, btw, dogs use whale eyes when they’re scared.  The Omnivore uses whale eyes when he’s not sure what he’s just eaten.

You see: I’d run across a lovely recipe for meatballs in this blog.  And I made a 1/2 batch of the meatballs using ground turkey especially for my dear Omnivore.  I knew he’d love those flavors.  But I knew I’d love those flavors, too.  So I adapted the recipe to be vegetarian by using a wheatball recipe.

And as many of you home-cooks know, you need feedback on new recipes.  Spice?  Heat?  Texture?  And this is a *must* around here because I am not partaking in the same main course as the Omnivore.  Details, people, I need details! I refuse to waste my oh-so-precious time on a recipe again if it is sub-par (I find it weird that the goal in golf is to be sub-par but in every other circumstance sub-par sucks).

Me: I like this meal.  It is nice for a change.

Omnivore: Yeah.  Are these green beans canned?

Me: Who do you think I am, your mother?  Of course not.  Anyway, how are those wheatballs?

Omnivore: *INSERT WHALE EYED STARE HERE*

Me: *innocent questioning look*

Omnivore: *choke*cough*phlegm* These are WHEATBALLS?  There’s NO MEAT!?

Yes.  My Omnivore trusts that I would be that good of a cook.  So good, in fact, that he could not differentiate between wheat and meat.  But I wouldn’t do that to him.  Especially after that incident with the tofu and the lasagna…  I’ll leave those details for another day.

Polynesian Wheatballs

1/2 cup mashed red beans
2 tsp soy sauce
1/4 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground mustard
1/3 cup Vital Wheat Gluten
1/4 cup pineapple juice

Mash beans and stir in spices.  Add VWG and water.  Beat with a fork until a dough forms.  Make into 10 meatballs and place in a vegetable steamer over boiling water for 30 minutes.

8 oz pineapple juice and chunks
2 tsp brown sugar
2 tsp rice wine vinegar
1/4 cup water (cold) + 1 T corn starch
3/4 cup frozen green beans

hot rice

Add meatballs, once steamed, to a saucepan with the pineapple chunks and frozen green beans.  Cover and keep over low heat until beans thaw.  Combine vinegar, brown sugar, and cold water + cornstarch slurry.  Add to pan and simmer 1-2 minutes until thickened.  Serve over rice.