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Watermelon Gazpacho

2012 July 23

One time the Omnivore came home from the drugstore with some ointment for muscle soreness. He asked me to rub it on his lower back and I obliged.

Within about 30 seconds, there was a tornado of arms and legs in the bathroom.  I was jumping up and down, screaming and shaking.  He was ripping my shirt off, unclasping my bra, and pantsing me simultaneously.

No, we weren’t getting frisky.

Whoever taught my husband first aid, hats off to you.  In short order he had my arms pinned to my side, my eyelids pried open and facing the shower head, and my nose and mouth covered – either to prevent me from drowning or to muffle the screaming.

That, my friends, is how you flush an eye.

And that also was my first experience with capsaicin (it was an ingredient in the muscle ointment) – the super strong burning molecule found in hot pepper.  I firmly believe that this OTC muscle cream does not take away muscle pain, it just distracts you from the pain you thought you had.


My second experience with capsaicin came after stemming a jalapeno for this gazpacho.  Oh vey.  I hadn’t touched my eyes – only my nose and lips – but this time the Omnivore was out town and matters had to be handled all by my lonesome.

So I made the soup, stuffed it in the fridge, and went through my ordeal (showering, sobbing).  I addressed the soup the next day.  I was nervous about it.  Not because of the hot pepper incident, but because the main ingredient in this soup is watermelon.


This is not a sweet soup or a dessert soup.  It is a cool and spicy fruit and vegetable soup that is a break from the normal tomato gazpacho.  It is unexpected and delightful.  It is also perfect to use up about half of the watermelon you have left in your fridge.  Man cannot live on watermelon + salt alone.  You must do something with it.  This recipe is worthy of an encounter with a jalapeno.  Please, friends, wear gloves.

Watermelon Gazpacho (adapted from Allrecipes)


6 cups cubed seeded watermelon
1 large cucumber, peeled and chunked
1 red bell peppers, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1/2 jalapeno pepper,
1/4 cup lemon juice
3 tablespoons chopped fresh mint
2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
2 tablespoons honey
1/2 cup pineapple chunks with juice
salt to taste
drizzle jalepeno infused olive oil (optional)


  1. Working in batches, place the watermelon, cucumbers, bell peppers, onion, jalapeno pepper, lemon juice, olive oil, 3 tablespoons of fresh mint, the ginger, honey, and pineapple juice into a blender, and blend for about 30 seconds per batch.
  2. The mixture should be well blended but retain texture. Pour into a large pitcher or bowl, and refrigerate for one hour before serving. Taste for salt and adjust as necessary.


  • Eileen

    Oh, ouch!  You know what works really well to counter capsaicin? DAIRY.  Seriously, milk eye bath, sour cream in your burning mouth, etc.  Evidently capsaicin is fat-soluble & dairy casein breaks up the molecules (more or less; I’m not a scientist).  Anyway.  That gazpacho does look great–hope you feel better!

  • Kate

    I’m not kidding – I chopped jalapeno this morning and even bringing my fingers near my eyes this morning had me tearing up.  We’re twinsies!

  • Shram

    Interesting recipe. GREAT commentary!

    • branny

      Thank you :)